2000s, 70s, 80s, 90s, Movies, Television
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Childhood Ruined: Kermit and Miss Piggy Officially Breakup

It’s a sad day folks. I mean if two fictional characters played by puppets with people’s hands shove up their backsides can’t make it, who can? I’m shocked but not surprised. You would always see Kermit showing doing reports on Sesame Street, so you had to figure he had an apartment in the city where he no doubt kept his side piece. ABC as well as Kermit released these statements:

Kermit and Miss Piggy personally informed members of the press at the live event, where Kermit revealed that he’s now seeing another pig in ABC’s marketing department.

“It’s a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process,” Kermit said. “Piggy and I have gone our separate ways romantically.”

Miss Piggy then appeared to give her side of the story, putting all blame (of course) on Kermit’s shortcomings. “”Dating moi is like flying close to the sun,” she snorted. “It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens.”

Kermit’s Official Statement:

After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television (“The Muppets”/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.

This post has been brought to you by the letter “A” for ‘Affair’

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