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Cereal Mascots: The reason we are so vain?

Remember when cereal mascots tricked the world’s parents into feeding their children sugary snacks causing the obesity problem in this country? I for one am still outraged by all this and believe me, if I see Sonny the Cuckoo Bird around I will most likely murder him for all his injustices. However, with all this sugary cereal outrage we have missed something (probably because we are all too fat to turn our heads from all the sugary cereal we ate as children).

Have you noticed that the world has become vain and fixated on looks? Well who is to blame for that? The surgeons who perform the needless surgeries? No, they are just doing their jobs. Perhaps the magazines for all the skinny beautiful models they put on their covers? No, models just happen to be skinny and beautiful, that’s why they are models, duh.

No, the real culprit for this entire vanity obsession is in fact the cereal mascots once again. I did a little research (emphasis on the little) and discovered a lot of our childhood cereal mascots have had some substantial work done. Just take a look at these photos:

Tony the Tiger, clearly had a facelift.


  Dig ‘Em had a nose job and changed his hat color to blue instead of terrible orange.

 Trix Rabbit looks like he had eyebrow implants as well as a nose job.

 It’s pretty obvious what Lucky had done…Penis enlargement.

Some say Sugar Bear just grew up, others say extensive plastic surgery. I think they got rid of the original Sugar Bear and replaced him with this guy. I can only assume the switch was made due to the fact that the original Sugar Bear was clearly a nudist.
I think Captain Crunch may be the only one who avoided going under the knife to stay in the cereal game. Although, I think we can all agree he is clearly insane and no doubt killed off this elephant to make a point that if Quaker Oats took him off the box, he would bring hell to their doorstep…Also, penis enlargement.


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