Much like the 1970’s, the 90’s was an era of a microwaved food revolution. New and exciting tasty microwaved products were being released targeted towards kids and their parents who are too lazy to make them real food. One of these products which were one of my favorites was the soggy, synthetic and often frost bitten Bagel Bites (also known as pizza bagels). It had such a great marketing campaign. Eating pizza for breakfast is a definite no-no. But, bagels are a breakfast food. And the product is called Bagel Bites. So, that means it’s okay! Sign me up. Fast forward a few months and I’m having breathing issues and can’t fit into my shorts during gym class.
. Every Wednesday at Monck Public School, students could pay one dollar and receive a greasy, gooey, pretty piece of pepperoni pizza from Pizzaville. Most girls bought one slice, and most sissy boys bought 2. But this guy right here always bought 3. That’s right: I was a fatty. Fat. Fat ass. Fatty McFat fat. Oh well. Wednesdays ruled. Did your school every partake in any special food days?
I loved pizza flavoured cheese strings. Who wouldn’t? Cheese and pizza. Pizza and cheese. Gotta be a moronic idiot not to like that. Oh, and there’s currently a Facebook petition to bring them back: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Petition-to-bring-back-pizza-flavoured-Cheesestrings/98201148130
If you grew up in the 90s, you were – at one point – this kid in the commercial. Praying for no PB&J, Trying for no tuna, and DEFINITELY no egg salad. So on those days where you pulled out that sunshine yellow (Or bright blue, if you had Lunchmates that day) rectangular box from your Thermos sack, you may as well have been holding gold. Always noticed but rarely traded, Lunchables were at the top of schoolyard commodities…alongside Dunkaroos and SodaLicious, of course. The types of Lunchables available read like your dream cafeteria menu: Tacos, Pizza, Nachos, Hot Dogs, Burgers, and the lowly sibling of Ham n’ Cheese crackers. But like most school cafeteria food, all the “good” options were , in retrospect, awful! I mean, who wants to eat cold nachos or burgers? Who enjoys plain hot dogs? And the pizza? Though it was the most popular option on my playground, the crust (Let’s admit it) was like styrofoam. Back in the day, my mom would only get me ham n’ cheese Lunchables. I’m so …
I don’t care, I loved Mdons pizza. It was great. Fucking great. It was even worth the non-fast food like 6 minute wait to get it. McDonald’s are assholes for eliminating it from their menus. Dammit. Now we have shitty Chicken McBistro sandwiches. WHO GETS A FUCKING CHICKEN SANDWICH AT A FAST FOOD BURGER JOINT? Idiots.